Growing up, everything was considered haram. You got a bank account? Haram. You wear jeans? Haram. You got your ankles out? Haram!

Laughter is a beautiful thing. So, why ruin it by talking about it?

When I was a child, I was really naughty. I used to steal, fight, and tell lots of lies. I was a disruption in the classroom. The only thing that ever scared me was when my mum shouted, ‘If you don’t stop this bad behaviour, I’m going to send you to Pakistan.’ Pakistan must be worse than Coventry, I thought.